Erik Estrada

http://pixgood.com/erik-estrada-chips-thumbs-up.html

When I was thirteen, my room was adorned with posters of Erik Estrada, Tom Selleck and Tom Wopat (the better looking Duke boy). I might also have had a poster of Simon Le Bon. I surrounded myself with good looking men to keep me company through those pubescent years.

My daughters have cars instead. I can't even tell you what kind of cars are on the posters because I don't pay attention. I think one is orange and the other is red and I now have exhausted my knowledge of the automobile world.

Who are they and where did they come from?

That's a question I ask myself quite a bit. When we live as a family, it seems like we should know each other intuitively. I feel like I should understand these people in my home who are flesh of my flesh, but I don't. They are a mystery and that is truly the delight of being family.

One of the gifts of sabbatical was getting to know my family. We had to make conversation, harness our different gifts to meet challenges, and live together all the time without hanging each other over the balcony. We learned about our different senses of humor and our anger buttons. We learned to ask questions and we learned to depend on each other.


So now the big thing is figuring out how to keep that up when we are going in nine million different directions. It is easier to make assumptions about who we all are than it is to take the time to ask. I catch myself doing that and then feeling so disconnected and slightly irritated when they surprise me by not being me.

Luckily, they have those stupid car posters. Those call me back to remembering they are not me. I need to know them as Hannah, Sophie and Elijah. I need to know Kirt in all his mystery.

I have to keep reminding myself of the tools that help us keep connecting.

We have a million question cards at our dining room table and we ask random things over dinner. "What is a sure sign that someone is weird?" "What is one thing you were terribly wrong about?" "When are you the most clumsy?" I'm already feeling a little guilty for when boyfriends and such get introduced to the family.

We head out on trails and to the cabins regularly. There is something wonderful about walking together that allows you to know each other again.

We cuddle on the couch (yes, all five of us and sometimes the dog) and watch a movie together. We play games and sometimes we have food fights.

I'm tempted to sneak in their room so I can report what kind of cars they are, but I'm okay leaving it a mystery.