Easter

The chaos unleashed when I try to sew

I spent way too much time on my hike today fantasizing about my first cup of coffee on Easter. I could imagine the sound of the grinder, the smell, the warmth in my hands, my face way too close to the steaming cup of joy. I'm glad I gave up coffee this Lent instead of swearing. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it through learning Zoom and how to sew masks without regular muttering and random exclaiming of "sh@#". 

At one point, I realized that I was more excited about drinking coffee on Sunday than I was about Easter. This caused a pang of guilt. In my defense, Holy Week is so completely different this year that I still can't quite wrap my brain around not celebrating my favorite worships in the flesh with some of my favorite people. 

I also realized that even in a "normal" year, death and resurrection are a little tough on my brain. I can visualize my coffee and I have a clear sense of predictable reward. That helps me get excited, but the mysteries of this holy week are not predictable. 

They are beautiful, profound, and tremendous, but definitely not predictable.

We will spend this week telling the stories of unconditional love in the washing of feet, betrayal by friends, torture, death and finally the empty tomb. Resurrection stories are a little slippery. Jesus is never where or how people expect him, but he surprises them with something new and freeing and empowering. 

I'm not sure I can predict those moments Jesus still manages to show up and surprise us with life when we only expect decay and death, but I trust he does and try not to get too detailed and controlling about it. 

I ground my life in that trust, but I'm still really excited about my first cup of coffee next week.