Juneau

Juneau

Monday, February 25, 2019

Forgive

I'm feeling vexed by the governor of our great state so I went for an especially long walk on an exceptionally gorgeous day thinking that would help me get into a benevolent place. 

It didn't. 

I was still lecturing and yelling in my head at him and his sidekick so I'm going to let that sit for a while. I'm trying to find a perspective on his budget proposal that keeps him human and I'm not there yet. 

I was going to remember Thumper's adage "if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all" (not to criticize Thumper, but it is a double negative and if I remember right he gets eaten in Bambi). 

Anyway, I'm not sure I'll cling to Thumper's advice, but I would agree that if I can't say something that builds up the community, then it's best to pray a little longer before saying anything. 

It's so easy to judge and condemn. It's so easy to imagine I'm right and on moral high ground without hearing other valid opinions. I'm still in the easy place where I could deliver quite the diatribe on the diabolical budget laid out so I will be quiet and I'm going to preach my sermon from yesterday again to myself and maybe this time I'll listen. 

Text: Luke 6:27-38 and Joseph
Title: Forgive
Date: February 24, 2019

How do we forgive? It is at the very core of our identity as Christians and yet throughout the ages we have often been quick to judge or quick to ignore or blame or retaliate. How do we forgive? Especially if we have faced betrayals by family like Joseph, dropped into a well, abandoned as a slave, despised by jealous siblings. How do they forgive him for still coming out ahead, succeeding, being chosen, toying with them in the midst of a famine. Jesus cranks it up even more. How do we love enemies? Especially when Jesus talks about being struck in the cheek and we must face the staggering statistics in Alaska. Our child abuse rate is 6 times the national average and around 50% of adult women have experienced violence by an intimate partner. 

Christianity does not condone abuse or invite you to remain in an unsafe relationships or situation. You may always come speak to myself or I can point you to someone. Forgiveness is not about silence or shame or blaming oneself for what others have done to you. I think that is important to say when we read these passages. And statistically chances are some of you are abusive, the church isn’t magic, it doesn’t solve all of our power and control issues and please know there are places where you too can speak the truth - we call it confession and it is part of forgiveness.

That’s the big stuff, but how do we forgive the irritations and annoyances of a day? How do we forgive when others do not measure up to what we dreamed they would be or even what we need? How do we forgive the countless little betrayals and disappointments of a lifetime?

I don’t know. There’s some stuff on line with anywhere from 5 to 20 steps, but I’m not so sure Jesus is all that concerned about the how because that is different for each of us. The how may get played out in a million little awkward steps or one giant burst of truth that opens the door enough for life to be restored or a letter written or a prayer said. 

Jesus doesn’t talk about the hows, we see it in his life where he continues to eat with and engage enemies and friends alike, he speaks truth, he is vulnerable and yet able to have boundaries when he needs to pray or grieve, but mostly his how is about letting go of his right to vengeance. He stops the cycle of violence by refusing to participate and retaliate. He breaks to bonds of sin by refusing to play the power and control games. He absorbs the violence, the sin, the hate of the world and calls it finished. The end. Done. 

But, I’m not actually as interested in the hows of forgiveness. The only thing I can offer is it starts being steeped in your identity as a beloved child of God who can risk speaking truth and then you improvise from there. But I do think we need to be reminded of the whys. 

We are called to forgive for many reasons. Forgiveness is an act of power, or better yet it is the act of removing the power someone else has on your life. It is the boldness to declare that neither the abuser, the enemy, the bully, the friend, the parent, the brother or sister gets to identify and claim us. We are God’s beloved children and we may stand boldly in the face of messes without jumping into the cycle. We may stand with Christ in the cross insisting on love instead of retaliating.

Forgiveness is also the path that keeps us from crucifying each other with the thousand judgments and condemnations we make. People mess us, we mess up; I do like my little plaque that says, “don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you.” It’s not your job to judge. It is hard to live in the truth and freedom of the Gospel when we are continually measuring, criticizing and dismissing ourselves and others.

I was reading some on forgiveness and ended up finding this article from Entertainment Weekly 2011 on the back of your bulletin. I’m going to read the last two paragraphs because I think it is a powerful statement as we talk about forgiveness. At least, I think it is a good beginning for conversation.

During Downey Jr.’s acceptance speech, he had even kinder words for Gibson. “I asked Mel to present this award for me for a reason,” he said. “When I couldn’t get sober, he told me not to give up hope and encouraged me to find my faith. It didn’t have to be his or anyone else’s as long as it was rooted in forgiveness. And I couldn’t get hired, so he cast me in the lead of a movie that was actually developed for him. He kept a roof over my head and food on the table and most importantly he said if I accepted responsibility for my wrongdoing and embraced that part of my soul that was ugly — hugging the cactus he calls it — he said that if I hugged the cactus long enough, I’d become a man.”

He continued, “I did and it worked. All he asked in return was that someday I help the next guy in some small way. It’s reasonable to assume at the time he didn’t imagine the next guy would be him or that someday was tonight. So anyway on this special occasion and in light of the recent holidays including Columbus Day, I would ask that you join me, unless you are completely without sin in which case you picked the wrong %&#*ing industry, in forgiving my friend his trespasses and offering him the same clean slate you have me, allowing him to continue his great and ongoing contribution to our collective art without shame. He’s hugged the cactus long enough.”


Maybe that is an image to sit with as we talk about forgiving family, loving enemies, do not judge and you will not be judged. Hugging the cactus, in ourselves, in our relationships, that seems like some of what Jesus might have meant when he talks about taking up our cross. Forgiveness is messy, we follow a crucified and risen lord, who promised abundant life not an easy chair.

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