Whining

Unlike the playground at the local elementary school, the summer lunch program does not operate with a lot of rules. I argue that rules are only necessary when community and relationships break down. If you haven’t been on a school playground recently, the long lists of rules are comical.

Our rules for camp, summer lunch, trips, and pretty much life are:

1. Be respectful
2. Be safe (Don’t die)
3. No whining

The third one isn’t a rule. It’s part of being safe because if I hear whining, I’m tempted to poke people in the eye.

We recently wrapped up our trip to the most "Magical Place on Earth". Maybe I’m saying that sarcastically because I do think Eagle Beach is way more magical than Disney and a heckuva lot cheaper.

There was only one rule we heard parents say on a regular basis:

NO COMPLAINING

Sometimes there was an introduction along the lines of “We spent a lot of money to be here so no complaining.” 

Our favorite parent quote on the elevator was, “Your complaining does not make my day magical.” I’m going to use that one on a regular basis.

Naturally, my brain started to wander through the difference between whining and complaining. I don’t actually poke people for complaining; poking only happens if they do it in that horrible high-pitched tone. 

Whining comes from the root word that means “to whistle through the air.”

Complaining comes from the root that means “to lament.” 

Here’s how I divide them. Whining is an annoying sound that is unhelpful. Complaining is grief at the way things are.

Complaining can be helpful.  Yes, experiences are what you make them and picking at the world around you is not always appreciated, but there are times we need to recognize pain for what it is.

There is so much pain, even in the most magical place on earth. Mind you, “I’m bored” is not a complaint. Any statement of boredom always goes into the whining column because it is your issue not the environment around you. Addendum: Unless it is me in a mall. I’m convinced that mall air is filled with microscopic dementors who suck out your soul.

But somehow faithful living seems like it needs to happen in the tension of delight and lament. 

Counseling a Jawa
after I screamed
and scared him

Being happy all the time is just weird. I’m not sure how you can do that unless your head is buried in the sand because a lot of life sucks. Also, being Debbie Downer all the time does not make one good company. 

Delight in the beauty and gifts all around; lament the suffering and our destructive ways. I loved the Star Wars firework show at Disney; I grieve the huge environmental footprint it has every single night of the year. I don't know how to fix things, but sometimes all I can do is appreciate a wonderful moment and recognize it comes with a cost. Oh, like the backstrap of a deer, most amazing meat I've ever tasted but it meant a life. We keep the hooves in with the logs in our wood pile just to keep reminding ourselves and maybe to frighten guests who we send for more wood when we have a porch party.

Anyway, never hesitate to share your pain or complaints with me. It’s a privilege to help folks carry burdens; I really do want to be a more faithful, less destructive person. But I don’t want to get wrapped up into drama or listen to a high-pitched whistle in the air because you need attention. That’s a whole different ball of yarn that might get a poke in the eye.