Not Enough

My eyes are starting to droop. We are at the tail end of an eight day whirlwind trip and it is catching up with me, but I’m German and my discipline is to write on Tuesday nights. 

Great crew of kids. I only yelled a couple of times and tried not to call them dipshits. I forget that’s not a term of endearment in most families. 

I was terrified on the roller coasters. I’m not sure my heart has felt like that in a long time. It’s probably healthy to experience heart stopping fear every now and then. 

I spent four days waiting in lines with 30,000 of my closest friends with many folks giving out free hugs. I walked out of the big group gatherings and instantly made a circle around myself where no one could enter. That didn’t work so well. I’m thinking electric fencing next time.

The Temptations showed up one night (at least two of them) and I danced and sang my little heart out. It was such a relief and almost made the night of heavy metal okay.

The speakers and worships were pretty solid. I always flinch a little at praise music and I do think one of the hip hop songs had a motion that resembled grabbing my crotch so that seemed a bit awkward. But, overall the gathering had some solid stuff about living out a countercultural faith where we accompany one another in suffering and grace. That’s solid theology.

There is one thought that’s bugging me from the National Youth Gathering and I should throw it out incompletely processed while it’s fresh and rolling around in my head.

The problem was throughout the entire gathering I spent my time devising tactics to be first in line, get the best restaurant with the shortest wait, and find the most amazing seats by going in the sneaky entrance. There were plenty of seats, plenty of food, and enough time even though it felt scarce at times.

That’s what’s haunting me. I swiftly got swept into the whole mindset of scarcity. Scarcity instantly makes hostility and aggression bubble up in a less than charming way (normally my hostility and aggression is a bit more entertaining).  I wasn’t the only one. 

Some elbows were thrown and folks pushed and there was mumbling about line cutting throughout the event. Everyone was fine most of the time, but this irritability that we might not get our fair share kept showing up. 

We’ll never know peace or solidarity or grace until we wrestle with the demon of false scarcity. It’s a thief that takes my focus from the abundance of resources and opportunities to focus on devising tactics to get ahead or take shortcuts.

I took a great shortcut on Mackinac Island that only added four miles to my trip. I think my focus is fading and the flights are over. Good night.

Scary doll Nyah found. Stuff of nightmares
but not related to this blog at all