Clouds

I could spend hours watching clouds. We had a beautiful afternoon at the beach. The kids played hard and I just lay there watching the clouds go by. I'd like to say that I had profound thoughts, but it didn't get any deeper than dinosaur, turtle, sleeping devil . .  .

There are times in the midst of being a pastor, a mom, a wife, a taxi driver, and activities coordinator that I imagine taking out my brain full of schedules and details to let it soak in a hot bath for a bit. That's some of what this time has been - a nice hot bath for my brain.

I'd make a pathetic Buddhist so this hasn't been a time of self-emptying and clearing. I don't meditate, but I do get a little space to wander around my head. It's almost as fun as grandpa's barn full of antiques, strange tools, and contraptions. Meal time has been filled with stories of our grandparents, parents and childhood. I only felt old telling the kids that the first time I used a computer was as a senior in college. They gasped.

My dreams have been vivid and I have even had to spend some time with those dusty thoughts and memories that get pushed aside when sermons, dinners, and schedules demand attention. It's not always the most pleasant experience, a bit like finding a dead mouse in the midst of the wrenches and whiskey jugs.

But it is a lovely taste of grace to let them all waft by and transform into something new like the clouds overhead.