Top Ten Coping Skills

 I am not a particularly anxious person. Worry just seems to waste the joy of the day and I gave up any illusion of control a long time ago. I can't keep people from dying or getting hurt, but I feel the twinges of worry as people I love are struggling with big stuff. The looming election, the pandemic, and nearly everything else right now seems to set people off with some good reason and I find myself sucked in more than I want to be. 

Here are my coping skills so I can try to be creative instead of reactive:

1. Swear more. That's actually a lie. I enjoy some good crude language but it's become so common and coated in meanness in our culture that I've taken a break. I'm singing more - John Denver especially. 

2. More wine. Also a lie - alcohol is taking a toll in way too many households. I'm not a teetotaler, but I try to stick to the guideline of two glasses of water for every glass of wine or cider. 

3. Baking. I hate baking and I'm not a huge fan of baked goods. I bake granola because I don't have to measure anything and that does truly make the world feel a little calmer.

4. Yelling. I'm trying to watch more scary movies so I can scream at terror instead of adolescents who can't quite seem to figure out on-line school. My beloved adolescent and I curled up and watched The Lost Boys together the other night. I screamed with him so that was nice and I explained to him why everyone had a crush on Michael. 

5. Praying. I'm surrounded with prayer books right now because I've run out of words for all that's going on in people's lives. There's so much and I do find it calming to read through ancient prayers that have seen people through turmoil before.

6. Backgammon. I was going to put sex, but then realized that would still upset our weird American purity instinct. Backgammon is fun too. 

7. Walking and talking with people. I do most pastoral visits walking and this might be a regular thing even after the social distancing stuff. 

8. Rainbows, sunsets, and windstorms

9. Letting go of the expectation that things have to be perfect or even completed right now. Not everything gets done and that has to be okay because there are mysteries to be read. 

I'm not sure mindless mysteries are a coping mechanism, but I'm about to find out.