Fitbit

I don't accessorize well. I actually don't even wear my wedding ring anymore. Some of it is laziness and some is my fear of losing another one. Both of our rings are curled up together taped to the sound machine - that's maturing romance.

But, I recently realized my phone tracks my steps so now I'm slightly obsessed. I've never thought of it before and it will probably pass soon, but my beloved saw it as a prime chance to buy an accessory. 

I now own a Fitbit. I haven't worn anything on my wrist since my Kermit the Frog watch, which I still miss. Kermit was the first motivational speaker for my generation. Speaking of my generation, I immediately pretended like the Fitbit was a CB radio, "Breaker, breaker, this is Stagecoach, any smokeys ahead." 

I walked 20,255 steps today. The thingy buzzed when I hit 10,000 but didn't give me any reward at 20,000. I feel cheated. 

I'm not sure I want to track my life with this much detail. I used to journal and that seems much more helpful in tracking life. I don't go back and read them often, but every now and then I pull one out and see where I've been and what tools I used to survive.

Swearing is a consistent one, but also recognizing that when I am tired and stretched thin I'm not good to anyone. I found in my journals all my "shoulds". I put in there all the things I should be doing or thinking and then I  let them go and gave myself permission to do what I needed to do to be the healthiest person for myself and others I could be. 

The Fitbit feels a bit like a "should" enforcer, instead of soap on a rope it's guilt on a wrist. I'm going to reframe it from guilting me into 10,000 steps a day into an opportunity to accessorize, pretend like I'm a secret agent, and have some idea of how healthy I am today.