Kale Chips

Sophia is taking a trip to Italy this summer so I made all my children watch A Room with a View. I didn't make my beloved watch it because he would fall asleep.

It's a movie about a young woman traveling to Italy and finding her passion and courage (the young woman is Helena Bonham Carter aka Bellatrix so that's fun).

Anyway, as we were having dinner and I was telling them about the movie, I mentioned that there were several penises in it. 

Unfortunately, I made this statement as I was placing the kale chips upon the table.

All of my children looked aghast. 

Finally, one of them said, "In the kale chips?" 

Welcome to dinner at the Stage-Harvey's where we not only talk about penises, but my children live with a little fear that I might put something that outlandish in a meal. There have been some strange meals my family has struggled through and some that were surprisingly yummy - I like to keep them on their toes.

There are penises in the movie and there'll be lots on the statues in Italy so it seemed like good preparation. The swimming hole scene is still one of my top ten favorite movie scenes.

Our little misunderstanding made me pause and think about how easy miscommunication is. Maybe it always has been, but the level of communication we do without body language seems like it is way easier now to get the wrong message.

There also seems to be a whole host of trigger phrases. . . climate change, fake news, women's rights, mass shooting, terrorism, abortion, guns, immigrants, undocumented workers . . .

Words and phrases are loaded into our heads packed with emotion and meaning depending on whom we hang out with, our experiences and where we get our news. It makes serious engagement of any issue nearly impossible because assumptions and emotional reactions get triggered before any critical thinking can occur.

Take for instance the word chicken. 

I don't think it has any political implications so it's remotely safe as an example. When you hear the word chicken, you probably think of someone who is afraid and running away; when I hear the word chicken I think of beloved creatures who holler at me as soon as I open the door to carry them across the snow so they can peck under the trampoline. Maybe I think beloved and spoiled creatures.

See. No wonder it's so easy to miscommunicate. 

I'm working on being a little clearer in my communication so I don't scar my children any further, but also offering a bit more grace when I engage in conversation, asking for more stories (especially if they involve chickens), and assuming less. It seems like a faithful way to navigate the time in which we live.