Flesh Wound

I should know by now when my beloved says he needs a bandaid there must be an appendage hanging off his body. He knows his chances of soliciting sympathy from me are the same whether it's a paper cut or missing finger tip so he just doesn't bother telling me anymore.

He was oozing blood all over while working on the roof. Luckily it's raining so it all washed off the roof and for the record I did offer to help dress his flesh wound, but he used duct tape instead. That's why I love him, but I think he might have experienced my callous side many years ago and hasn't forgotten.

When Hannah was a baby, after I finally got her down for bed, I lay down to watch a movie while my beloved worked in his shop. Halfway through Chicago, I hear, "Honey, I think I hurt myself." 

I might have said something like, "There is no way I'm waking up the baby to drive you a couple of blocks to the hospital. Here's a dishrag; you'll be fine."

He was fine after twenty stitches put the tip of his finger back on. I'm sorry. I should have taken him, but he drove himself fine. 

I'm not good at gauging when something is serious and when it is a "brush it off" episode. I tend to put most things in the latter category. It takes a lot for me to go to the doctor. I know my body pretty well and I know when I need to tend to something out of whack.

My girls and I were just talking about my motto with healthcare. If something feels out of whack, check your sleeping, eating, walking, habits and drink more water. If all those are as they should be, then go to the doctor's office. 

The physical stuff is hard enough to know when to go, but once you add mental health into the mix it is overwhelming. I've now heard for the third time the importance of learning how to express needs and feelings with greater detail. I pay attention when something comes in threes; it's the trinitarian in me.

I can't be the amazing guru who understands all that my kids and parishioners and friends are feeling or needing, but I can encourage tools and language to help folks express what is going on inside. We can't ever tell how much pain someone else is going through, but we can figure out ways to help each other talk about it.

I'm not always the most sympathetic person and there are times I feel like we live in an over diagnosed and medicated society where people are identified by their problems and forget they are more interesting than their ailments.

But, I need to listen. I need to have tools like bedtime check-ins, emotion charts, and dinner question games where we stay aware of our health and pain. I need more words than sad, happy or pissed to talk about feelings.

I probably also need to stop walking around the house behind my husband saying, "It's just a flesh wound." And the rest of the Black Knight scene from Holy Grail:
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you going to do, bleed on me?!
Black Knight: I'm invincible!