Humanity

I made the teenagers disgruntled on our trip to Whitehorse. I gave up being their friend a long time ago and now I take seriously the role of challenging and forming them into faithful, honest, and gracious folks. That means I get to help establish healthy boundaries and safe places. Not always fun.

One of the teens brought a slightly edited version of Cards Against Humanity and I would not let them play it after the first couple of rounds on the ferry. If you are unfamiliar with this game it is tag lined "A party game for horrible people." The game is a bit like Apples to Apples. Each round, one player asks a question from a black card, and everyone else answers with their funniest white card. For example:

"When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate ____________"

• Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Florida and dying.
• Not wearing pants
• Tom Cruise
• Mouth herpes

And those would be the tame answers. I'm not opposed to the game in theory. The absurdity of the scenarios is hilarious, but there are some degrading and horrifying responses too. They can also be hilarious, but not appropriate for teens.

Lutherans don't tend to be moralists so I don't stop the kids from teaching each other how to play poker or blackjack. They also play this mafia game, which is a complicated storytelling game where folks die in hideous ways. There is a disturbing element to the game, but it seems to me like they are trying to engage the precariousness of life and ridicule it. 

My problem with them playing Cards Against Humanity is that they haven't developed a depth of compassion and love for humanity. 

Teenagers, and many adults for that matter, are still figuring out the line between mean and funny. If you hurt someone, it is not funny. But it's not always that easy. There is this weird territory between engaging the absurd to mock diseases, prejudices, and sexual stuff (I think all that's relatively healthy) and being mean to disconnect and distance from life and relationship.

Humor can break down walls and it can build them. All of the teens rode in my vehicle and I felt a little like Jane Goodall documenting behavior. They are actively in the process of figuring out boundaries, safety and humor. Some times it goes too far and I need to pull them back. That's why mentors and adults are so important during this time in their lives.

I firmly believe it is only when one is madly in love with humanity in all its messiness that one can mock it. Humor has the gift of revealing the absurdity of life, turning expectations upside down, and making us see things in a new way. Humor, especially 50 foot statues of Tom Cruise, can act like parables and make us realize how destructive the status quo can be.

Humor can also degrade and humiliate. That doesn't belong on a church trip. 

They spelled my name so they're not too disgruntled.
They make me laugh and I love them bunches.

I do find St. Paul helpful in figuring out why poker is okay but Cards Against Humanity isn't. “All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. (1 Corinthians 10:23).