Death and Taxes

Filling out my taxes on pi day was almost too much titillation for me. I'm still giddy.

I love numbers and forms. I love order and tasks that have a beginning and an end. I love thinking about the money we make and how it gets spent. I wouldn't want to do it everyday, but it's a great way to celebrate pi day.

And I love pi. What is there not to love about a number that has order and infinity all wrapped up into one? Naturally 3.1416 is fun too because it is pi rounded and I'm sure there's something significant about that in my life.

Death and taxes. Thank you Benjamin Franklin. "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."

And on Saturday I almost died so it's like Ben Franklin was thinking about my week. 

Please no lectures and don't worry mom it wasn't too close, just a stupid choice that could have ended poorly. There is a voice in my head that kicks in when something seems impossible telling me I should probably try it. The peak was so close and it seemed like a shame not to stand on it. 

I should have paid attention to the dog when she gave me the "what the hell are you doing" look. I'm thankful to have a dog who is smarter than I am. She also chased me while I rolled. That was sweet. 

But when I gathered myself back together, it was a good reminder of mortality and humility. I call these Ash Wednesday moments. There is no magic force field that will keep me from suffering death. I'm thankful it wasn't on Saturday, but I still would rather die in the midst of an interesting life than cling to a dull one.

My grandmother used to beg me to stay home. She worried about all the traveling I did that someday the wanderlust would kill me. And it could have. People die in crazy ways everyday. But the leading cause of death in the US is heart disease. Rarely caused by wanderlust; often caused by poor diet and staying home. 

The funny thing about Franklin's quote regarding the certainty of death and taxes is that it's not true. I think we could say death is inevitable but certainty is a difficult word for something that always catches us surprised. 

And taxes, feel like order and certainty, but are symbolic ways of ordering the universe that could fall apart at any moment if we stopped believing in the symbolism of paper money. You can't eat it or wear it so what is it truly worth?

Now, since I'm a pastor, you're expecting me to pull the "Jesus is the only thing certain" card, aren't you? Can't do it. I tend to lean towards Dostoevsky's "If someone proved to me that Christ 
is outside the truth, and that in reality the truth were outside of Christ, then I should prefer to remain with Christ rather than with the truth." 

Not certainty, but Christ is the truth I trust. I'm willing to trust my heart and life in the God I see in Jesus not because it is certain, but because I see in him a life that has eternal reverberations of grace, a life that gives one courage to keep living even when death is inevitable, a life that is grounded in love instead of fear.

So I suppose, even at the end of a titillating day, I'm glad to still be a pastor and not an accountant.