Don't Be a Good Person

My kids are allowed to say, "shit" but they aren't allowed to say "bored." I'm sure I've shared that before, but I hate all derivatives of "boring" with a burning hate. "Shit" is just fun to say and appropriate in so many situations.

The official definition of bored is, "feeling weary because one is unoccupied or lacks interest in one's current activity." 

The cure to boredom is not more entertainment or more stuff to do, even though we invest tons of money and time into those cures. The cure to boredom is being interested and invested in one's current activity. I can stare at clouds for hours without being bored, but Super Mario gets about ten minutes of my attention before I glaze.


And even though I know the word is off limits, I find driving kids around to be one of the most boring things I do. I love spending time with my kids and that they are active, but there are times I feel like that one creepy worm thing from Star Trek is eating my brain. (I'm not a Star Trek fan because that thing still gives me nightmares.)

So, I signed up for a hand-to-hand stage combat class. See what I mean about the worm thing eating my brain.

I needed to do something interesting and frightening so I can check back into the less interesting aspects of life. The first class was last night and I learned that my body does not bounce back like it did 25 years ago in college. Little stiff and sore today.

There were several times I felt utterly ridiculous, but luckily I laugh at myself well. I loved that the teacher apologized every time he swore, which was a lot. Oh yeah, there's a pastor in the house, you better behave.

But, my favorite part was a line he kept telling us, "It is more important to be a good partner than a good person."

On stage, being a good partner is more important than being a good person because you are working together for the audience's belief. You need to act with purpose your role and expect your partner to respond appropriately. 

Being a good person is defined in my head and I think most of our culturally assimilated heads as behaving in a way people expect us to behave. Good people don't rock the boat, speak the truth if it is uncomfortable, or let their children say shit. They punch softly from a great distance. That is not believable for an audience. It also leads to sheltered, shallow relationships.

So, what makes for a good partner? We did an exercise of giving and receiving energy. Little creepy, but fascinating to feel and get into sync with another person. A good partner listens and responds appropriately. A good partner trusts that the other is not an incompetent idiot who must be carried or coddled. A good partner is loving and critical because that is the only way you grow and improve.

I wonder what the church would be like if we focused less on being good people and started figuring out how to be good partners.