Freedom

Love is taking the risk to give freely of yourself. 

Thank you Rev. Peter Ray for stating that so succinctly in the sermon today. It’s not a radical notion, but I suppose I haven’t put it in the context of the Parable of the Talents before. I especially appreciated the question about what would have been the landowner’s response if the first two had failed. Would the landowner have congratulated the one who buried his talent in the ground? Probably not. I agree that the ones who took the risk would still have been extolled even if they failed. 

Sometimes I think I live my life a bit too freely and I could save myself some pain if I had a few more defenses. I laugh too loudly for polite company, I weep till my nose runs, and I don’t know how to protect myself from hard good-byes let alone rejection. Imagining manipulative techniques to feel some control over life and clinging to safety are always tempting whispers in my brain and heart.

Then, I remember what love is and why I follow Jesus who failed miserably at playing safely. Love is not only taking the risk to give freely of myself, but it is filling those around me with a sense of boldness that they too can live in that kind of freedom. That almost seems more challenging. It’s one thing for me to wreck and burn, but to watch those I adore live boldly is scarier than snot. But, it definitely keeps life exciting.

I can’t say we’ve had any major eureka moments over sabbatical. I still love my life, my family, my vocation, and living in Juneau (we miss mountains and water). No major life changes on the horizon for me, but I got to dwell in abundant freedom and joy for several months. I think that puts me in a different place as we prepare to return to schedules, duties, and responsibilities. How do I live in the tension of duty and delight? How do I keep loving and risking when my energy wanes and playing it safe is so tempting?