Sensuality of SmartWools

I know I am home when I start my morning by donning SmartWools. There is something comforting and lovely about living in sweaters and warm socks. I feel most myself when I am wrapped in fleece and wool. We are happy to be home with the rain, the crisp air, fabulous friends, our animals and wonderful hikes.

But, maybe there is a little part of me that misses skimpy dresses and sun kissed skin. I don't get to dress in little dresses very often for a whole host of reasons and there is a part of me that misses having so much skin exposed to the elements.

It was the sensuality of the Russian Orthodox liturgy that drew me back into the faith as a recent college graduate many years ago. The smells, tastes and sounds of the worship made me experience the presence of God even when I didn't understand what I meant by "God". In much the same way, the sensuality of Malaysia drew me back into a life that burst with smells, tastes, and sounds.

It was not just my skin that tingled with exposure to sun and ocean breezes, but my taste buds exploded with the flavorful food, my nose was met with sometimes repulsive and sometimes pleasing scents, and my ears were filled with the Muslim call to prayer, the vendors wooing us, and the waves crashing. I felt incredibly alive.

That's not to say that I don't feel alive normally, but it is a lot easier to forget about the succulent scents of dinner when you are just trying to get everyone fed and on to the next activity. It is easy to ooze into frumpiness when I'm happy to not smell bad and have coffee in my cup. Too often in my life, comfort trumps consciousness, to do lists beat serendipitous gifts, and autopilot takes over living.

Sanity is important to me and I need my rituals, lists, and quick dinners to keep us all rolling, but I also need to remember the God we worship is a fleshy god. We worship a God who dwells deeply in this world waking us up to abundant life. The more I disconnect from this world, the more I insulate myself from the God who delights and weeps with us.

So I breathe, pray, sing, delight in my socks and the fact that every inch of my body is covered and cozy. I walk, laugh, play games, and use hot sauce. I'll always run the risk of turning my to-do lists and comfort into idols, but I trust God to keep calling me to repent. I trust God to keep calling me back into the world to be raw and alive, to delight and weep, to love exposed and unprotected.

Freedom

Love is taking the risk to give freely of yourself. 

Thank you Rev. Peter Ray for stating that so succinctly in the sermon today. It’s not a radical notion, but I suppose I haven’t put it in the context of the Parable of the Talents before. I especially appreciated the question about what would have been the landowner’s response if the first two had failed. Would the landowner have congratulated the one who buried his talent in the ground? Probably not. I agree that the ones who took the risk would still have been extolled even if they failed. 

Sometimes I think I live my life a bit too freely and I could save myself some pain if I had a few more defenses. I laugh too loudly for polite company, I weep till my nose runs, and I don’t know how to protect myself from hard good-byes let alone rejection. Imagining manipulative techniques to feel some control over life and clinging to safety are always tempting whispers in my brain and heart.

Then, I remember what love is and why I follow Jesus who failed miserably at playing safely. Love is not only taking the risk to give freely of myself, but it is filling those around me with a sense of boldness that they too can live in that kind of freedom. That almost seems more challenging. It’s one thing for me to wreck and burn, but to watch those I adore live boldly is scarier than snot. But, it definitely keeps life exciting.

I can’t say we’ve had any major eureka moments over sabbatical. I still love my life, my family, my vocation, and living in Juneau (we miss mountains and water). No major life changes on the horizon for me, but I got to dwell in abundant freedom and joy for several months. I think that puts me in a different place as we prepare to return to schedules, duties, and responsibilities. How do I live in the tension of duty and delight? How do I keep loving and risking when my energy wanes and playing it safe is so tempting?

Welcoming When You Know Too Much

Malaysia was an excellent experience in welcoming the stranger. The country is incredibly hospitable. I appreciated most how folks could walk us through new rituals, foods, and directions without making us feel like idiots. There is a fine balance between guiding people into the church's rituals and hovering around so they feel like preschoolers.

And now for something completely different . . .

Goofy family at Old Man's Cave

This time in Ohio is not only about visiting family, but observing how we offer hospitality to those we know intimately. I've always served congregations in small towns where folks often know too much about each other. They have watched each other since childhood and everyone has their category of one another that is hard to break out of.

There are scandals in small towns that everyone knows and it makes it hard for folks to return to church. People have expressed concerns that parishioners will whisper or stare. I'm tempted to tell them that won't happen, but I know people a bit too well. We do whisper and stare. We know too much and fill in the blanks when we don't know.

I don't know what hospitality looks like when you know the sordid details of a divorce, death, or disease.  Some people want to talk about it, some want to be distracted, and some want to disappear. I do know that no one likes to be stared at or talked about behind his or her back.

One of the orientation lessons they teach at Bartlett Hospital is called the Platinum Rule (sorry Jesus it does replace the Golden Rule for them). The Platinum Rule is "treat others as they wish to be treated." In other words, ask her what she would like. Ask him if he wants to talk about the divorce or go for a walk to get his mind off of it. It is awkward, but how you deal with a problem may not translate to what someone else needs in the midst of crisis.

I also learn about love in the midst of family. We have a ton of relatives here and we don't always approach life the same. My mom used to always say, "You have to love them, you share blood." True for the church too. Sometimes our differences are vast, but we have to figure out what love looks like because we all share blood too.

Home

I will probably always call Grove City, Ohio "home". This is where I run into my cousins in the store and know the buildings by the names of what they were twenty years ago. This is where I know the stories in the cemetery and am known as "Ike and Shelah's daughter."

We are "home" for a couple of weeks with some nasty jet lag (we want to sleep from 3-5 pm and stay awake from 3-5 am) and we are freezing our booties off. I knew we were in trouble on our last day in Malaysia when the kids were swimming in the 80 degree pool and jumped out because it was too cold. These are children who will jump into 50 degree water when the air temperature hits 70.

Folks in Malaysia were shocked that we live so far away from family. We love living in Alaska and I don't think my allergies would ever allow me to live in the Midwest again, but there are times that I wonder about what makes a place your home.

I don't know the answer to that. It seems like it has something to do with the place where you are known, a place where you can have adventures, and a place where you are loved. The longing for home is a definite theme through scripture. Establishing a home can be hard in the transient and isolated culture that we have become.

One of the videos we watched in preparation for sabbatical was about how the church needs to cross cultures and one of the most controversial episodes was the one about staying put. The video bid us to stay where we are and invest in the community where we live instead of always longing for the next great place. Something to think about.

Being away has definitely given us a new perspective and appreciation for our homes and our communities in Juneau, in Ohio, and in the USA.