Raw

I needed a rainy day. It seems to give permission to grieve with the world - tornadoes, floods, killings, and so much fear and anger. So I'm curling up with curry, a fire and my dog and trying to be present with the hurt.

These last few weeks have felt so raw as I got to pray as part of the police memorial and baccalaureate. I want you all to know I made it through without weeping. That's impressive.

I'm going to start trying to do formal prayers and sermons to protect myself some, except I'm afraid I might fall asleep or become numb so I probably won't actually become any more formal or predictable.

I'd like to share these raw moments and prayers because I want folks to know my prayers are not a flippant response to tragedy or pain, they are a deep investment of my heart in the suffering of others.

Police Memorial

Seeking to respect the beliefs of all, I offer this personal prayer

Prayer is the place where I examine my heart and offer it to the redeeming love of God. So this prayer is my heart: 

A heart that is heavy with the weight of grief. We remember families and pay tribute to all officers who have made the ultimate sacrifice. We also honor the daily sacrifices made by those who serve as well as their families. The world is never the same when one has faced the brokenness of humanity, the long hours of labor, and the tedium of paperwork. 

My heart rejoices in the courage and integrity of so many who are part of this calling. I give thanks for your willingness to be people of compassion and seek what is right even in the murky waters of complex relationships and conflicting stories. 

And somewhat selfishly, I must confess a heart that hopes my husband comes home every night. I know what it is to have a heart that beats faster when the time wears on or the sirens break through the night and I trust that worried heart into God’s love.

Whatever may come, I pray I may have a heart that hopes that the light of love can shine and redeem even the darkest of places. 

Baccalaureate 

Gathering prayer

Respecting the beliefs of all, I lift this prayer to God the source of life and love,

As we gather, I give thanks for all the beach days we have survived to get you to this point. All those field trips where it was either freezing with sideways rain or sunny with no see ums and the stench of rotting varmits. 

Even when I couldn’t feel my fingers, it still brought me delight to flip over rocks and see what slithering creatures were hiding underneath. I loved trying to catch the critters as much as any of the kids. And that’s my prayer for you all as we gather. 

May the God of creativity and curiosity urge you regardless of weather to investigate, observe and flip over rocks. Even when you are ready for your hot dog and freezing cold, or sunburnt and parched, keep poking around and there might be an octopus hiding or a sculpin waiting to be caught.

May you never expect life to come to you, but be willing to risk exploring, to face discomfort, and to dig a little deeper. May you bump into the God of life and love as you engage the mysteries and wonder around you.

Sending

As we are sent, I remind you of one last guideline for the beach: always put things back the way you found them and tend the creatures around you with respect and care.

May the God of compassion and grace guide you into being faithful caretakers of the world. May you be curious and adventurous but also kind and loving. 

May you look around at those who are here tonight, who have probably accompanied you on many field trips and who love you even in the wild wind at the beach with snot flying and eyes burning, and know if they will stand beside you on beach days they will stand with you through anything. 

May the peace that passes all understanding wrap you tightly and give you the courage and strength to go forth to be curious and kind.