Zootopia

I might have been the only person who cried through the movie Zootopia. I sat in the theater watching this story about a female bunny trying to find her way into her calling in the midst of a masculine world and I was weeping. My heart hurt in a way it hadn't in a long time as I thought through the past 18 years in ministry where I have been disinvited or ignored at best, belittled and preached to at worst. The lecture is the worst. But I have always had to prove myself capable.

I might also have been the only person who screamed during the movie. Welcome to my life.

It wasn't until I watched Michelle Obama's speech tonight with my daughter that I felt the tears well up again. 

I don't want my daughter to have her ass grabbed at work and dismiss it because it's a manager and everyone laughs it off. 

I don't want her to go on trips with a bunch of pastors and priests and learn to stay with a buddy in the hallway so the guys don't trap you and try to get a good feel. 

I don't want to whisper a good idea in a man's ear because I know he'll get heard in a way I won't.

I've adopted so many different techniques through my years in a man's world, and most of them are dismissive and demeaning to me.

And I think I'm tired of it. It really is too much to be asked to dismiss on a national scale what I've been forced to laugh off or ignore for a good chunk of life. 

I talk pretty openly with my kids about assault and boundaries. Hannah's been traveling lots with volleyball and they stay in host homes. Sometimes I know too much about humanity and what we are capable of doing, especially to those we think will remain quiet  so I teach them to yell and swear. 

I worked with Hannah to point with purpose and say, "*%#$@ Stop It! That's inappropriate." No one gets to touch you without your permission and if someone is making you feel icky then tell them to %$&* off and get out of the situation.

Men cannot do anything to you they want. 
It doesn't matter how much power or money they have. 
We are not owned. We are not less important. We will not be dismissed.

And if a man wants to call me any kind of slang term for a vagina, that's fine with me. I'll carry those names proudly because I've brought three kids into this world and I know just how flexible and strong vaginas are.