Juneau

Juneau

Monday, September 30, 2019

Sacred

I've been trying to figure out why the recent Flying Spaghetti Monster prayer at the Homer assembly meeting bugged me. I'm not easily offended and I don't know if I'm a supporter of prayers at civic meetings, but I  found the publicity and the prayer itself offensive. 

"So, I’m called to invoke the power of the true inebriated creator of the universe, the drunken tolerator (sic) of the all lesser and more recent gods, and maintainer of gravity here on earth. May the great Flying Spaghetti Monster rouse himself from his stupor and let his noodly appendages ground each assembly member in their seats.”

I am currently traveling reconnecting with family and friends. I'm also doing some continuing education on grief, life coaching, and how the church talks about sex. All of this has given me a chance to reflect on what is sacred.

The word "sacred" comes from the word "holy" and the word "holy" doesn't mean you're super well-behaved. Holy means to be set apart for a specific purpose. To mark something as holy or sacred means to recognize the significance of that time, place and the people there.

Prayer is a way of marking sacred space and people. It's a way of recognizing that meeting or moment as significant; the decisions made by leaders (and all of us) have eternal ripples. What we do and decide matters. 

I get anxious when we go speeding into a sense that nothing matters. There is so much absurdity on a regular basis that I want to defend a few moments and words to mark the sacred and let the absurd take a break for at least a few minutes. It loses some humor and fun when every moment has an edge of ridiculousness. 

I am also offended by prayers that have an agenda of god the great wish granter or god on my side or believe what I do. They have no place in public gatherings, but I appreciate hearing from a variety of faith expressions about how we make this time and space set apart as significant. Prayer isn't about inviting a magic god in to fix things, but it invites us out of ourselves into a greater purpose; it reminds us to be compassionate, wise, and gracious (those tend to be qualities that stretch across faiths). 





Monday, September 23, 2019

The Wall

What three major events impacted your life?

That was Elijah's homework question for me the other day. It got me thinking.

9/11 was definitely top of the list as well as the genocides in Rwanda and Yugoslavia. These events destroyed any sense of naivete about humanity's capacity for cruelty. The killings in Rwanda felt very close because we were in seminary in Tanzania not long after and the stories of normal life turning into slaughter were chilling.

But, the one that was fun to talk about was the fall of the Berlin Wall. I got to tell him all about going to Germany as an exchange student when I was a Junior and being one of the last classes to go through Checkpoint Charlie. I was obsessed with McDonald's toys and I can still remember the East German guard going through my huge white purse. He first pulled out all these strange toys I insisted on carrying with me and then my rubber chicken key chain. He held that up and smiled, but that was about the only smile.

Since this was long before 9/11, we hadn't experienced much security before so this all felt really intimidating and then East Berlin was so gray and quiet. That's all I remember. There were lots of gray buildings, except there were some buildings that were mostly destroyed and had a giant painted drop cloth over them. Our money was worth a lot in East Berlin, but there was nothing to buy.

One of the highlights from our last trip to Germany two years ago was getting to explore the history of the GDR and  study how something that looks so reasonable on paper destroyed the human spirit. The constant suspicion and intimidation exhausted people. The alcohol consumption in the GDR was eight times higher than in West Germany.

We never imagined standing in line at Checkpoint Charlie in 1988 that within a year the wall would come down. There were many things that led up to that day in November, but the peaceful protests are close to my heart.

The pastor of a church in Leipzig held regular Monday prayers for peace until October 9, when the numbers were too great for the church. As the Deutsche Welle reported,

Around 6,000 to 8,000 people were crammed in to the churches in central Leipzig, and a total of 70,000 people had gathered in the city. Everyone was holding a candle, a symbol of non-violence - you need to hold a candle with both hands to keep it from going out, which makes it impossible to throw stones. 

This was four months after Tiananmen Square massacre and I think we all held our breath wondering if  tanks would roll into Leipzig and Berlin. I had a t-shirt around this time with the quote, "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." It was one of my favorites, but I don't think any of us imagined that candles would help bring down the wall.

I didn't take any pictures of the Wall, but I kind of love this one
in one of the bathrooms
Yes, my life was impacted by the tragedy of terrorism and genocide, but it has also been impacted by the power of hope and non-violence. Tyrannies and empires do not last forever, but I'm willing to stake my life and my strength on the hope that love and peace do.


Monday, September 16, 2019

Praise for Cranberries

Joy is 55 degrees with a light drizzle and I'm kneeling in the marsh hunting cranberries. The wild wind that blew the snot right out of my nose and onto my dog was a bonus. So much of my life is disgusting and amusing at the same time.

This is the carnivore of the bog, but
the tiny red branch is a cranberry plant
I was giddy with my numb fingers digging in the moss for the elusive cranberry. I'll pick other berries, but a cranberry bog on a melancholy day fills me with elation. Seriously. 

The low bush cranberry plant only produces one berry and you have to kneel and develop a keen eye to see them. Rarely does one walk away with a huge haul; my goal was a cup for ginger cranberry muffins.

I came home and once I got the feeling back in my fingers, I set to work making muffins. Baking is not in my skill set. I have the patience to lie in a bog and find single berries, but I can't measure more than three ingredients without losing my patience and calling it close enough. 

I'm always tempted to pray for patience, but what I really want are situations that don't require patience. I don't pray for patience because I know the only way to becoming more patient is practice and I don't want God to give me any more practice. 

But, what if I could turn the situations that get me irritated and anxious into cranberry moments? What if I could figure out how to kneel right in the middle of all the discomfort and look for treasures? I'd much rather be filled with joy instead of irritated and impatient. 

There are so many fun and wonderful aspects of middle age and menopause, but one of my favorites is feeling like a layer of skin has been removed and I'm so much more vulnerable and sensitive to the stimulation of the world. It's easy to lose patience when I feel that exposed so if I suddenly kneel when I'm talking to you, take note, I'm looking for cranberries.

Monday, September 9, 2019

Shirt

My favorite denim shirt has been found! 

It's close to 30 years old with more buttons missing than attached and I love it. This is the joy of cleaning out my closet.

It's my most comforting shirt, big enough to double as a blanket at a concert or beach. Many a ferry trip was spent in the solarium wrapped in the shirt like a make-shift sleeping bag.

I don't want to think about all the snot streaks that have crossed the sleeves - hikes without tissues or walking with a child at camp who saw my arm as a Kleenex
. There's a sizable coffee stain on the sleeve, but that just helps ensure no one will ever steal it. And one tiny blood stain from a bad idea.

This shirt saw me through three pregnancies. It's a man's shirt several sizes too big, but I think in the 80s I liked my clothes large like my hair.

I've found myself wearing this worn and ragged shirt nearly every day since its discovery. There is something comforting about being wrapped in old denim as I face so much new. I wondered today as I sat on it at the beach if I was trying to recover youth, but I don't think so. I've got anti-aging cream for that.

Life is lovely now and I wouldn't trade it for any other time, but there's something about this shirt that feels real. This shirt wraps me in stories and experiences that keep whoever I become rooted in the person I have been. Clothes can hide so much for us, but not this shirt. It reminds me of nearly every adventure, heartbreak, sunset, and joy I've known. It wraps me in the courage and memories I need to face the adventures ahead.